When did you pop out of the place?!

This month you'll find yourself wondering where all the gay thoughts come from?! 

It's actually the gay fairy, they come into your room while you're sleeping and hide the gay plant. This then blooms and 

distributes gay pollen around the place, which you breathe and get gayer. Don't look for it, it's carnivorous and hates guests. 

This month's recommendation: Go do some girlkissing and commit a small crime to appease the queer gods 

Hi Gay! Are you feeling? Sorry to hear that. Have some poppers and a dance. 

Take your time to recognise what you enjoy about being a big ol' homosexual - is it the audacity? The colour? 

Possibly the intense and unwavering yearning you feel toward frogs? Whatever it is, take PRIDE. Tis the season. 

This month's recommendation: Fight the patriarchy and also maybe an actual man. Pow pow. 

This is your time, dearest. This month you have been given some carpé to diem! Get gooped, gagged and whatever other

random queer saying comes to mind! They all mean the same thing, essentially. Which is to say; you have immunity this month to be as 

reckless and audacious as you like. Go spend some time with a bear, I'll leave which kind down to you.

This month's recommendation: Cover yourself in Vaseline and glitter, no one else can do it for you.

I know what you did last summer. Because it's the same thing you do every summer. Pride baby! You get it, it's all about the rainbows, dowsing yourself in suncream and glitter and hoping for the best. When you take off the suncream, you'll be left with scales. Which is great, because it's better than the gills you grew last time. 

This month's recommendation: Find a wizard, gift them a trinket and observe their orb.  

Ladies, gentlemen and those who know better, welcome! This month is all about being proud and boy, do you know how to do that, my feisty lil' lion pal. Coming to a parade near you, this lion is wearing last years Prada because fuck fast fashion. Throw up your peace signs and be the most glam, that's the vibe babe. 

This month's recommendation: Remember that old saying, 'Don't bite the hand that fingers you' Or maybe do, I don't know what you're about.

I think you know what you did. It's time to find the rope, the one you're at the end of and cut it loose my dude.

Own up to tying the rope in the first place and then go to the rodeo with your pals.

You look like you know how to ride one of those mechanical bulls and I am looking forward to watching you try. 

This month's recommendation: I already told you babe, go to the rodeo. And make sure you invite me because I also want to try.

This month you'll be living la vida Libra! It's all happening my dude. You're usually all about balance, but not in June! No siree, this month we're doing excess! No excuses, only reckless abandon and a disregard for the judgement of others. 

This month's recommendation: Crime! I know that's a bit old hat, but like, come on man - just like, tell a cop to do one or something. 

This month it's time to paint your pointy little stinger and wave it around like you just don't care. Okay, maybe care a bit! Cause' it's still pretty sharp, but now it looks fabulous too!

Maybe attach some flags to your pincers too. Or don't... that could be overkill. 

This month's recommendation: Sneak into as many houses as you can and hide gay plants, try not to inhale too much pollen.

Time to try something new! I don't really care what it is as long as it brings you joy and only causes those who deserve it, discomfort. Rest assured, it should be making someone uncomfortable or you're not doing it right. When you sneeze next, rainbow confetti will explode from your nose. Do not be alarmed. 

This month's recommendation: Only cross the road when the man is red. These are your streets, time to take them back.

Rumor has it that you did the butcher and the baker! Excellent work. We're not sure if that means what we think it means, but we're proud of you! And isn't that what it's all about? They'll never find the bodies. Ehem, body oddy, oddy oddy. 

This month's Recommendations: Take a sexy picture, send it to yourself. You deserve a little treat.

In the darkness, only those with night vision can see. And also Old Gregg. Because he's dowsed himself in bioluminescent algae for pride month. Heh, Al-GAY. He gets it. Anyway, you should do the same this month. 

This month's recommendations: Drink Baileys from a shoe and then throw that shoe at a bigot! Yay!  

Did you know that 70% of mer-people are queer? Not a lot of bigotry under the sea... Unless you have two legs. In which case, get the fuck outta here my guy! Remember not to invade spaces that aren't for you this month, or you might get eaten. 

This month's recommendation: Don't get eaten, well... not in the sea at least. Take your fishing gear to the pier and sacrificially offer it to the people of the sea